Rearview Mirror.....

I don’t need a biopsy to know it is cancer--Dr Lynn, December 29, 2011    

         It was a year ago today when life changed.  Exactly a year has passed since I sat in that room (a room in which I have become very familiar with) and listened to Dr. Lynn say the cancer word (granted I knew what she was going to say-- but still, not something you enjoy hearing). And it was a year ago today Betsy and I sat in Cracker Barrel trying to make sense of it all.  Looking back, I would like to say just my life, but I can’t-- it touched others in ways I am sure I will never know just as it touched my family and friends in ways in which I wish it had not.  I know I will never look at a mammogram the same.   I will always wonder if they missed something—and I am willing to bet I will always have that feeling.  However, I can honestly say  I have been blessed beyond measure and cancer has given me many gifts. While I would rather have skipped this particular gift,  the positives have far outweighed the negatives and it really is true. There are no words which will ever be enough to thank those around me for everything.  It has been a humbling experience.  As my life returns to normal-- or rather my new normal-- I hope I will always remember the lessons I have learned and to pay it forward.  Now, let’s have some fun and blame the chemo brain if some of these have been said before. 

Things I have learned this year:

1.        The light at Shipyard and Independence is evil.

2.       According to the Health Department, you have to flush twice up until 48 hours after chemo.

3.       Respect the light (Krispy Kreme for those who have no clue…).

4.       Hot flashes are hell.

5.       I should have signed up for the Aflac Cancer policy… I would have been rich!

6.       I am stronger than I ever thought.

7.       Chemo is all about the bags—my favorite was the valium.

8.       The first time you pee after chemo it is red… apparently I had been warned.  

9.       Humor is essential—yet many do not have that gene—found that out many times.

10.   Banking sick leave is a good thing.

11.   Naps are awesome.

12.   Fatigue can get worse.

13.   The water fall in the waiting room at Dr K’s always make me have to pee. 

14.   Pediatric gowns make great hats.

15.   God answers prayers.

16.   Night nurses love the Food Network.

17.   A good wig is worth the money.

18.   Root Beer is not part of the low bacteria diet.

19.   Calf cramps are now a way of life.

20.   Ditto for vertigo.

21.   Don’t ever say “now what”.

22.   Cards mean the world. So do flowers.

23.   You can never have enough thermometers.

24.   Nurses keep a stash of snacks—nothing like a cherry ice at 3:00am.

25.   I can live without bangs.

26.   Hell, I can live without hair.

27.   The quality of toilet paper is essential.

28.   Ditto for tissues.

29.   Clean sheets are heaven.

30.   Friends are a gift from God.

     31.   Life goes on.

32.   Some people gain weight during chemo.

33.   I am loved.

34.   Hospitals have strangely comfortable pillows…. Yet they are waterproof.

35.   Kids get it.

36.   The elevator at Dr Lynn’s is the slowest I have ever seen… and all for one floor.  Never have been able to find the stairs.

37.   Hot showers affect the electric bill more than I thought.

38.   Nothing, and I mean nothing, can compete with a great nurse.

39.   Family is more than blood.

40.   I learned to embrace whatever was thrown at me.

41.   Hair grows slow when you want it to grow and fast when you don’t

42.   Facebook was a godsend.

43.   The amount of money I spent on my hair in the past was rather large… it will be nice to spend it again. 

44.   Faith is essential

45.   The money I saved in hair products was spent on cupcakes.

46.   I can only live without my day planner for so long,

47.   Chemo brain is real.

48.   There is actually a Cancer Dating Service… who knew?! 

49.   My mom is great.

50.   I did it! I am a cancer survivor!