Hell freezes over

Monday around 10:20am:

Dr N:  Looks great so I will see you in 4 months.

Me:     (kind of sighing) I’m really done.

Dr N:  Yes, you are really done.  What are you doing after this?

Me:     Getting my toes done.

Dr N:  (looking down) Good thing, they need it.

Me:    (giving him the evil eye) Well, I have been a bit busy, you know, visiting Hell every day.

Dr N:  (rolling his eyes) go on, get out of here. See you in December.

And with those words, I walked out of Hell (originally the Glow Place before the invisible rays took their toll and started cremating me).

            I really finished a week earlier—Friday, August 10, 2012 at 4:47pm to be exact--but he really had not released me until this week as he wanted to see if the damage inflicted by those invisible rays was healing properly. I had seen him the Tuesday before my last day and it was looking rough.   To make me feel better, he told me once I was done with the treatments, while it might get worse for a few days, (I refrained from saying “really?  it could get worse?” as the flashbacks to the “there is no way the fatigue could get any worse” were hitting me at warp speed), it would then heal quickly.  He did not lie—my arm became my own again in less than a week.  (Whew, good thing too as I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get both of my arms back at the same time.  This sleeping on the one side or on my back with the arm (or arms) in a twisted position was getting really annoying). 

             The plan for my last day was for me to go by myself as I had no idea how I was going to react when I walked out.  I honestly have not really, really cried and I had a feeling it might hit so I figured I would be better off by myself.  However, on Wednesday, Billy decided he was coming down so I asked him to meet me.  (Funny thing, we did not tell Mom as I did not want her to feel bad I wanted him there and not her, so it was rather amusing when we were able to pull it off without her picking up on it).  I finally walked out (4:47pm) and we had dinner and then home.  Walked in and Mom asks me what I did and I said I had dinner—want to meet my date—and Bill poked his head in.  Not even 3 hours from being done and the Golden Child status was stripped away.  Dang.  I thought I was good until the end of August.  However, on the positive side, (as there is always a positive side) Mae Ling has been nice enough to stick around until the fatigue goes.  I figure I have until the second week of September before she leaves.  (Then again, the Golden Child comment might signal the end of Mae Ling.  I should add, long live the Toilet Paper Queen as she is very important too).

              It is hard to think I am done with it all.  No more chemo, no more radiation, no more daily rides to Wilmington.   I have a follow up with Becca on September 10 and then I do not see Becca or Dr K for another 4 months.  Last Monday was the first time in more than 6 weeks (aside from one day) in which I did not make that 3:00pm drive to Wilmington and I admit it bothered me a bit.  I felt like I was supposed to be somewhere.  For 218 days, my life revolved around my treatment and suddenly it was done.  About 3 weeks ago I told Dr N how strange it was going to be not to have a daily appointment.  He told me some people do have trouble with the treatment ending and sometimes depression will set in as their routine has changed yet again and they are not able to relax and realize they are really done.   I told him not to worry about me.  I was good and while I would miss the staff (they are amazing), the only thing I really was going to miss was my daily cupcake or, depending upon the time, respecting the light.  I think he might have rolled his eyes.