The end

Today I had 2 cupcakes.  Well, not really.  Today I ate the icing off 2 cupcakes—big difference in my world.  I love icing.  More specifically, I love Apple Annie’s icing.  I could buy a cake and just eat the icing. Oh wait, I have done that and it was good!   Anyway, back to the why I ate the icing off the cupcakes.    

I saw Dr. Lynn today for my 6 month checkup.  Which meant last week I had my 6 month mammogram which also meant I saw Dr K 2 weeks ago for my 6 month check up with him.  Since Dr K was first, I’ll start with him.  The week before I was to see him, I got a call stating my appointment needed to be moved and I was going to see a PA.  I pulled rank and said no way, I was seeing Dr K and they could move my appointment, which she did and I got to see him.  As always, it was a good visit and this time I actually had him laughing from the gut.  I told him how I had had a biopsy the last time I saw Dr Lynn and how I kept yelling ouch when she stuck me even though it did not hurt.  He knows her so he loved it.  Anyway—he said I will see you in 6 months and you are doing great.   1 down, 2 to go.

The mammogram was last week and all I will say is I was squished good. And for the first time since July 2011, I had a normal mammogram.  Of course I started laughing as we all know how that normal one turned out.  Still, it was nice to see it in writing. Fast forward to this morning when I got to see Dr Lynn.   After we do our normal how are things and catching up, she says all is good and she will see me in 6 months.   It is not until I get to checkout that I realize she has not scheduled me for a 6 month mammogram.  I questioned the nurse and she said I was back to the once a year routine.  Just like that. 

So I decided I needed to celebrate and I decided icing would do the trick.  And as I sat there looking at my cupcakes before I attacked them, I realized for the first time since it all started in December 2011, I felt normal and most importantly of all, I felt safe. 

And on that note, I am ending this blog.  I hope and pray I will never need it again, but if I do, I do.  When I first started, it was to keep people in the loop.  It then became an outlet for me, something I needed more than I ever realized.   Sometimes I read it just to remember.  Other times I read it to remind myself I did it.  To this day, I still feel it was doable, but I am beginning to realize I really did go through hell and it really was more serious than I made it out to be. 

I am humbled beyond measure that so many people joined me on my journey via this blog.  Thank you for your prayers, your thoughts and your presence.  The support, both near and far, was amazing, and, at times, overwhelming.  I am so very, very blessed.

 

I wanted a perfect ending.  Now I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. 

Gilda Radner