“I
am so proud of you—give me a hug.” It was at that moment I knew the worst was
over. No more chemo, no more visits to
the ER and no more stays on the 10th floor. He then continued—“I will see you in a few
weeks to go over the tamoxifen and then a month after you have been on it. Then it will be every six months. And I probably will not recognize you on the
first 6 month visit—you’ll have hair.” And with those words, Dr. K released me for
the next step: radiation.
It was really strange walking out of the
office as I really had no words (I know, very hard to believe, but I didn’t and
while I did say thank you—it did not do my feelings justice. I mean, what else do you say to a team who was
the center of your world for months? Hope never to see you again just seemed wrong). On the other hand, as I walked out the door I
had this amazing freeing feeling—I was done, FINALLY done with chemo. Kinda felt surreal.
The
past few weeks have been wonderful. The
chemo is leaving the body and I am feeling better and better each day. I still get very tired, but it’s different.
It is not a sick tired. Of course it
probably has to do with pushing myself as that golden normal ring is within
reach (probably not a good use of words as I was never able to grab the golden
ring on the merry go round—I was too short).
I admit to overdoing it—but it was nice to finally work a few 8 hour
days. Not to brag or anything, but this last pay period I worked 36.5 hours the
first week and 37 the second and it was heaven-- okay—it just about killed me
the first week but I made it through the second week without dying so all is
good. (Estell is now shaking her head as she reads this—I expect a phone call
will be in my future).
My tastes are almost back to normal too and I
am torn between it is wonderful and darn, I really need to lose weight. Then again, I have been loving all the fruits
and veggies I had stayed away from. And
strangely enough, my taste for real soda and sweet tea have left me. Too bad my taste for those Chocolate Peanut Butter
Cupcakes remains. Small steps, small
steps…
My
beginning of the end starts tomorrow (Monday, June 25). I have a standing 4:30pm appointment at
Coastal Radiation—now forever known as the Glow Place—every weekday until August
10. In preparation for turning into a
glow worm, I am the proud owner of 5 little tattoos—dots. I will say I was dreading the day I went in
to get them (remember I hate needles).
But it was nothing… thank goodness for small favors. Rumor has it I might get tired from the radiation.
Seriously?! I have spent the last 6
months tired and I doubt it will be like the chemo fatigue. Now that was bad---nothing like taking a
shower and then having to take a nap. I
was thinking those days were behind me.
Many have offered to take me, but I am hoping to do most of it on my
own. Time will tell. However, Debbie gets to take me for my first
zap tomorrow and I figure since she is a nurse, if anything happens, she will
be there. Nothing is supposed to happen,
but we are talking me so anything goes at this point. Just covering all the bases.
Bring
on the glow…
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