Random thoughts....

 As I approach the ½ point of this chemo thing, I thought I would share a few random thoughts…

·         My biggest fear was if I ever got cancer there was no way on earth I could handle it.  Well, I am handling it and while this is not exactly a fear I really wanted to conquer, I think I pretty much have a grasp on it.   A big thank you to the person who discovered the nausea pill—I am forever in your debt.

·         I have sung the praises of Portia a few times now, but I have to tell you, she really is a pain in the ass.  For some reason I am always hitting her and it hurts like hell—if I hit her just right I can bring tears to my eyes and drop to my knees.  After hearing me yell ouch a few times, Gaye said if she ever needed a port it would go in her chest.  Funny thing is, I don’t ever remember hitting my upper arm until Portia was installed.  Figures.

·         I am beginning to think Gaye might be right about the head scarves.  For the most part I have been wearing Scarlett and boy does she itch at times.  I probably should carry around a hat just in case I want to rip her off.  Speaking of, I sure hope I don’t get pulled over if I am driving at night—I usually take her off and whew, it feels great but I am still not embracing the egg look and goodness knows it might scare the heck out of the officer. 

·         I so appreciate all the concern and support I get.    I have said it before and I will continue to say it, it is so humbling.  However, I swear if I hear one more time “this too shall pass” I might just scream.  I know, I just set myself up and yes, I have a very good idea who will be the first one to test this theory. 

·         I am starting to lose the taste for certain foods and while I am trying to put up a fight… I am losing.  Ketchup takes like metal, milk tastes sour, peanut butter is starting to taste like cardboard and the smell of certain foods are beginning to do me in.  My love for tuna sandwiches is on hold as the last one did nothing for me.  The other day I told Billy that even the thought of a cupcake made me sick—he was speechless.  Oh well, I need to lose about 10 lbs anyway. 

·         The fatigue really is rather amusing.  Some days I get up, take a shower, get ready for work and I am done.  Other days I am good to go.  I have been told it only gets worse at the treatments continue.  Great… so looking forward to the next few months.

·         I still have my eyebrows—and I don’t have bad hair days.

·         I will never, ever be able to say thank you to all the people who have supported me, prayed for me and just cared enough to let me know they have thought about me.  Again, very humbling.

·         Philippians 4: 6-7.